A Peek Inside Our Workbooks
From INDEPENDENCE Workbook:
EXERCISE 2B – CRISIS PRONE, HANGING ON
In order for you to maintain victim drama, you must have other people in either the villain or the hero role in your life. You make people villains when you see them as the cause of your problems. You make people heroes when you expect them to protect, provide for, or understand you as a victim. Not only will you see people through these lenses, you will create people treating you in one of those two ways. People who care for you may grow impatient with your unwillingness to take responsibility for your life and so will eventually become judgmental and frustrated. You will have turned them into villains. Others will continue to cut you slack and make excuses for you, even when it isn’t best for you. They will become your heroes.
TASK: Go through your list of victim drama and write down who is playing either the villain or hero roles in each drama. Review the list every day for the next week and add names.
EXERCISE 3B – CRISIS PRONE, HANGING ON
In order for you to release yourself from being dominated by villain drama, you must learn to face your fears and push through them. Allowing your life to be dominated by fear undermines your ability to create anything good for yourself. Do you remember being chased as a child? The fear of being caught makes you run as fast as you can. But, no matter how fast you run, the fear only gets bigger. It is only when you stop running and turn around to face your fear that you have any chance of making something good happen. Pick one villain from your list. It might be wise to choose the one you fear the least. Small victories can provide courage to take on bigger challenges. What do you need to say or do to free yourself from your fear of this person and what they might do? Write it down. You might be terrified to even consider taking a stand because you are so used to being dominated by your life.
TASK: Think through how you will say or do what you have to say or do. Now, go do it.
From POWER Workbook:
EXERCISE 2D – SELF-DETERMINATION, HANGING ON
Exercise 2 invites you to take on low-hanging fruit; issues you can solve quickly that immediately begin to demonstrate you are taking control of your life. Almost everyone has things they do that get in the way of forward progress and/or things they could do that will make their lives better. These could be as simple as eating junk food, sleeping past your alarm, cheating on your hours at work, or not exercising.
TASK: Make a list of the things you could easily either give up or start doing that you know will be good for you. Now, do them. You will immediately begin to experience the benefits of having increased your self-determination. Your confidence will improve. You will encourage yourself to continue to expand your control over your life.
EXERCISE 3D – SELF-DETERMINATION, HANGING ON
Exercise 3 invites you to take on one more difficult goal. This might be some persistent habit that has been holding you back. For example, you might be overweight and know you need to lose it, but have been ignoring the issue. Or, you might know you need to find a more satisfying job, but you have been lazy and haven’t done anything.
TASK: Make a list of all of the issues of this sort you need to address in order for your life to be thriving. Now, pick one. We want you to focus on solving this problem. Don’t let yourself get distracted. Don’t try to solve other things. Put all of your energy on addressing this issue. Set a clear and measurable goal. Establish a date for when you will reach your goal. Create a plan that includes all of the steps necessary to achieve the goal. Get to work!
From HUMILITY Workbook:
EXERCISE 2A – TOLERANCE, TREADING WATER
Exercise 2 invites you to notice that you have strong opinions about many things. You probably aren’t dogmatic about everything, but on a number of issues you believe you know how things should be done and how things should be. People might touch on one of the topics where you have strong opinions and will get an “earful” of your views on the subject. It could be your political point of view or how your job should be done or how the house should be kept. These pockets of rigidity in your thinking can interfere with your ability to interact effectively with a broader group of people.
TASK: Over the next three days, keep a record of subjects and topics about which you express strong opinions. Notice if you see others doing the same thing over issues that are important to them.
EXERCISE 3A – TOLERANCE, TREADING WATER
Exercise 3 invites you to notice that you have a comfort zone. There is certainly not anything wrong with creating a life that is comfortable, and you have built a relatively successful life for yourself. But if you become too comfortable with your life as it is, you will fail to explore beyond the borders of your comfort and may miss opportunities to grow and to change. You can notice that you have a comfort zone by paying attention to the choices you make about things like where you go out to eat, where you go on vacation, and what you do for fun. If choices like these recycle the same places and things, they likely define your comfort zone.
TASK: Make a list of opportunities you might have missed because you were too comfortable.
From PURPOSE Workbook:
EXERCISE 1D – SPIRITUALITY, ERODING
Session 4 focuses your attention on ways you can cultivate greater spiritual awareness. Let’s get started.
Exercise 1 invites you to ask yourself big questions. If you pay attention, you may notice that much conversation is about trivial things. People talk about the weather. News reports on local crime and political wrangling. Rarely, does conversation involve deeper, life-changing, and soul-provoking questions. “What is the meaning of life?” “What happens when you die?” “What is the most satisfying way to live?” These are not easy questions to answer. In fact, they may not have definitive answers. But, considering such questions deepens your understanding and appreciation of life. All of these questions are important. Any insights you have about them may change how you live your life.
TASK: Make a list of questions such as these that you will ask yourself on a daily basis. Set aside 15 minutes each day to consider them.
EXERCISE 2D – SPIRITUALITY, ERODING
Exercise 2 invites you to practice meditation. There are many forms of meditation and all of them are useful. Perhaps the simplest is to sit in a chair, close your eyes, and breathe deeply. Meditation will slow you down and unclutter your mind so you can better access deeper parts of your mind and heart. As you become more comfortable with meditation, you might find yourself becoming more centered and focused in your everyday life. You can cultivate a depth that was lacking. Silence is very important in cultivating spirituality. The more you silence your active mind, the more open you are to hear new things.
TASK: Practice meditation each day for 15 minutes.